Title: Had I Never Lived
Rating: PG
Summary: It seemed escape was only a matter of time for the Nibi, but when the curiousity of others might kill the cat, death can not be an option for it. And so Kita's life will soon belong in her own hands.
Chapter + Title: Chapter Three: Resonant Memories
Notes: This is actually a rewrite of an older fic I started a long time ago. I hope that people will like this rewrite much better than the original. Feedback is more than welcome. I'd also like to note that this fic is OC-centric, but will have more canon characters appearing as time progresses.
Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto and not me.

---

Paper creations flew around the classroom. The same weary-looking chuunin sat at the desk up the front, wondering what possessed him to take the job teaching new enrolments. He blew at a stray strand of hair dangling in front of his eyes before glancing over the new students. Enrolments were up this year – a slow, but steady trend over the past decade or so. Before that, numbers had obviously been thin, likely from the death toll of the war affecting families, and those deciding against getting their kids involved in the messy business of being a shinobi. Never mind that however – this was now and he had a class to get back to teaching since roll-call was over.

“Alright, so today is our first day combining the boys’ and girls’ classes together. We’ll be doing these co-ed lessons every other day, so don’t get your schedules messed up.” The teacher ducked, a paper shuriken bouncing off the top of his head. He grumbled, wondering what also possessed him to show the class yesterday how to make paper weapons like that.

“Sensei! Sensei!” called a voice in the group. “Show us something cool!”

The man shook his head. “No, you’re here to learn – this isn’t some sort of magician’s party.”

“Show us something cool!” yelled someone else. Chaos erupted as the class began to chant the phrase. “Show us something cool! Something cool! Something cool!”

“Henge!”

Girls screamed. Boys gave yells of excitement. The bear growled angrily as it flailed its paws in the air at the class before vanishing in a cloud of smoke that filled the room. The noise intensified for a brief moment, something slammed with a bang, and then silence. The chuunin rubbed the back of his neck with a sigh, disliking that he’d fallen to their pleas. But at least the class was calm…

The smoke cleared. The room was empty. The man’s mouth dangled open. When? How? Noise came from outside, luring the man to the window. The entire class was in the playground acting as though it was already break-time. The man ran a hand down his face. “Sneaky little… fine, recess then,” he muttered following with a sigh.

“Yanagi-chaaan!” an elongated call echoed across the playground. Sora waved frantically as he ran towards a group of three girls. He stopped before them, a wide grin on his face directed at the dark-haired one.

The girl gave him a deadpan look. “What?” she asked flatly.

Sora pouted with his back turned to her. His arms dangled limply. “Yanagi-chan’s so mean, giving me that face and asking ‘what?’ so coldly!”

“I can hear you,” she snapped at him. Yanagi groaned, switching her attention back to the other girls with her. “That’s Sora, he’s annoying.”

“So cold…” muttered Sora depressingly. In an instant, he had turned back, wearing the same grin as before. “Yanagi-chan, you could introduce me, you know! Though… I sorta already know them.” He scratched his cheek with embarrassment. “Hisae Ishi – daughter of the Tsuchikage, and cousin to Tansei Ishi, who is – well, somewhere around here…”

“I’m here,” said a voice.

Sora blinked as Hisae squeaked, scuttling quickly behind the other girls. Her gaze was trained on the figure standing behind him.

“It’s rude to sneak up on people, Tansei,” commented Sora. The other boy shrugged. Sora shrugged back too awkwardly. “Never mind,” he said, turning his attention to the last girl. Their eyes met. Then… silence. Not around them, but within. The usual whispers Sora heard from the world vanished as he stared into the girl’s eyes. Nothing came from her, and even though the silence was something he’d always wanted to hear, this was… disturbing.

Tansei lifted an eyebrow at the girl. “Haven’t seen you around before,” he said dryly.

“Kita Mitsukai,” she said bluntly.

“Oh, the ‘Guardian of Stone’s kid,” Tansei said. He seemed satisfied with just her name. “Uncle said you have health problems.”

“They’ve cleared up,” she replied. Her gaze went back at the blue-haired boy, eyes almost curious. “Sora, was it?”

The boy flashed another grin, albeit hiding the nervous feeling in his stomach from her watch. “Bingo! Sora Kigaino – my mum works as an interrogator with the Internal Guard. Our families worked together in the past. I hope we can work together in the future too. Though…” His gaze sparkled at Yanagi. She raised an eyebrow at him.

“You’re way too hopeful if you think we’re going to be on a team or something together.” She crossed her arms.

“So cold…” muttered Sora.

“Whatever,” Yanagi replied. “I’m going to go play on the swings.”

Hisae quickly ran out from behind Kita after her. “Ah! Wait for me, Yanagi-chan!”

“Kita-chan,” said Tansei, catching her attention before she could run off as well. “Has your father ever done any training with you?”

“Only a little,” she replied.

Tansei frowned slightly. “Only a little?” he inquired curiously.

“It’s enough,” she said simply.

He smirked in return, shrugging off the inquisitiveness for satisfaction. “Maybe we can spar together in the future.”

“People talk too much about the future…” Kita muttered under her breath as she turned away briefly. She glanced up at Tansei. “Maybe,” she nodded.

“Kiiiita!” Yanagi’s voice called over the noise of the rest of the class. “You’re missing out! I saved you a swing!”

“Excuse me,” said Kita, running to the swings.

Tansei frowned, having caught her mumbled words. “Strange girl,” he commented with a glance a Sora.

Sora frowned. There definitely was something strange with that girl all right. Just what did that silence mean, anyway? He’d never encountered anything like it. Even though his mother was an expert with their bloodline, even she couldn’t completely silence herself. Sora was sure she’d once said it was impossible… unless perhaps there were no thoughts to begin with. This puzzle wrapped in the mind of a girl – even more puzzling than girls were to him already. A wave of goosebumps travelled up his arms, and Sora couldn’t help but think it wasn’t a good sign.

---

A woman rocked back and forth on her heels as she waited at the gate. Bara had matured since her first encounter with Kita – she’d risen to be a respected nurse in Iwa, and she was still full of hopes and ambition. There was something a little disappointing about being shunted down to babysitting, but with nothing but a lonely house to go home to most times, a distraction would be good.

She tried to stay positive for this experience. No matter who the child, even one such as Kita, perhaps this would be enriching? One day, maybe just one day she’d able to use what she’d learnt here to help in raising her own children.

She looked up as finally there was movement from the building as classes of children ran to the gate. Bara spotted a familiar hair colour.

“Ah, Kita-chan, did you have a good day at school?” she asked as the young girl walked over. She offered her hand to her.

Kita nodded and took her hand. “Did Dad go on a mission already?”

“Looks like it’ll just be you and me for about a week then,” replied Bara. She had to worry at the girl’s silence following it. But she was even more worried about the girl’s father. It didn’t quite seem like Hissori to suddenly walk so easily into a mission like this when for the past seven years he’d done little more than push papers. It was hard for her to tell if something was wrong. Even though she felt like she was somewhat on good terms to both Hissori and Kita, she still felt like there was something she was being left out on. The two were very good at hiding things. She sighed. “Would you feel better if I made any meal you wanted?”

The girl shook her head. “Not hungry.”

“Kita-chan, I’ve talked to you about eating right before remember? Just because you don’t feel hungry doesn’t mean your body doesn’t need it. I’ve drilled your father about it enough times as it is. You’ve been going to bed early too, haven’t you?” She frowned. Hissori, although she knew he loved Kita, it always felt like he was a little careless with her.

“I hate going to bed early,” Kita muttered. “It’s boring, and I’m not sleepy then. I’d rather stay up.”

Bara turned her head to not let the girl see her agitated look. Kita was stubborn, just like her father it seemed. However, she’d still have to do her best to seem like a parent to the girl to. Bara glanced down at the girl, trying to think of someway to cheer her up.

“Bara-san,” said Kita quietly. It was a questioning tone really. “You used to be a ninja, right?”

The woman nodded, giving a chuckle. “I wouldn’t say you ever ‘stop’ being a ninja. I just decided to become a nurse, where I thought I could be of more help.”

“That still sounds like it was a long time ago,” mumbled Kita.

“It wasn’t that long ago,” Bara replied as she eyed the girl irritably. “I’m only twenty-eight. That’s just two years older than your father, you know. I started my medical training at fifteen.” She sighed again, realising that to a kid, any number over their own age must have sounded old. A slight smile spread on her lips. “Never mind though. Was there something else you wanted to ask?”

Kita paused a moment before speaking. “Dad doesn’t teach me a lot of things. Everyone at school expects me to be some kind of genius.”

“Oh,” said Bara, an air of awkwardness in her tone. “Did you want me to teach you?”

The girl gave a short nod. No ‘please’, no ‘thank you’, just a nod. Bara gave a crooked smile. Again, there it was – that feeling that there was something more going on between those two than how it seemed. She wasn’t an intentionally curious person by nature, so going out of her way to find out about things that shouldn’t concern her was rare. But this concerned her, right? She was just as much a part of Kita’s life making sure she was staying healthy and such. To go snooping around and using a child as the information source though… Well, she guessed it’d be even harder to get anything out of Hissori.

“Well, what kind of things would you like to learn?” Bara asked. If she used this opportunity right, she could definitely get some more clues.

“Chakra,” she said.

Bara’s smile grew a little more confident. “Nice choice. If there’s one thing I know, it’s chakra control.”

The two continued to walk in silence for a while, the sun on their backs. The streets got quieter as they reached the area of the old Mitsukai house.

“With Dad gone,” said Kita suddenly. She paused, the same blank look on her face as they walked. “Can I call you Mother?”

The smile Bara had kept from before faded. What kind of question was that? Mother? Bara frowned for a moment. “Kita-chan, I don’t think…”

“Please?” asked the girl, turning to her. Her fingers tightened their grip on Bara’s hand as tears began to well up. “I-I just thought you’d like it. Please?”

Bara sighed. She couldn’t say no to that kind of face.

“Just don’t tell anyone,” she whispered with a touch of worry in her tone.

---

On the night Hissori returned, he walked in to find a mess of papers on the living room floor. Bara was asleep at the table, head resting on her arms. It seemed as though she’d had a stressful few days. The mass of papers grabbed his attention again as he bent to pick one up, a puzzled expression on his face – Kita had hardly ever been the type of child to draw. She was more of a reader really, having found her sometimes late at night in the upper sections of the house where old books were kept. But sometimes that was a little puzzling in itself as well, and there’d been more than a few times where he’d worried himself to the point of feeling ill at what she was looking at – and not from the concerned parental viewpoint either. A pinch of paranoia that something else was reading those books too. That ‘N’ word clawed at his conscious.

He stared at the drawing in his hand. He wouldn’t exactly say it was a dark drawing like he was expecting. It was a field full of flowers. He squinted beyond the flowers and the stick figures in the foreground. There were grey blobs in the background… Another picture on the ground caught him – this one had the grey blobs again, but more featured. He swapped the drawings in his hands to stare at the new one.

Gravestones, he was sure. Especially when he saw the one in the middle – it looked just like Minami’s grave. She’d even drawn the same sort of flowers he always placed on it.

But of course it was likely she would draw something like this. He took her to graveyard every time with him. He didn’t know why he would take his daughter to such a place, it almost seemed like a taboo thing to do – something horribly obscene and horrifying that would leave an ugly stain thus anyone knew the truth. Any other parent would be disgusted at the idea of letting their child wallow in the memories of death, even if their family was built upon it like the Mitsukai. They had their own section of the graveyard, and he’d buried Minami there with them, to show he loved her just as much as he loved every other member of his family. He’d always bring her a bouquet like he used to, and he’d let Kita place flowers on the graves of the rest of the family – people she never knew and never would.

He realised, he’d never let Kita put the bouquet on her own mother’s grave. It was something he always did. Not because it was a tradition, but because… Well, it wasn’t a nice thing to think about. It just always felt like leading his daughter home.

Leading the Nekomata home…

But the drawings on the ground were bright and colourful. Despite the graves, there were scenes of life in every one, even such small things as m-shaped birds flapping in the distance or vivid green trees scattered leaves in the wind.

These weren’t the sorts of drawings you’d get from a demon. There were no spiralling black vortexes or puddles of fresh red blood. Nothing obscene, everything normal…

Too normal?

A gasp. “Oh, Hissori! You startled me!” Bara was clutching her chest, breaths coming in short bursts from the initial shock of finding someone standing over her. She sighed in relief, her eyes looking around at the mess on the floor. “Sorry, I meant to clean this up before you got back. I guess it’s just been a long week. Kita’s so stubborn, how you get her to bed is beyond me.”

Hissori gave a smile of embarrassment, almost because he had hoped she wouldn’t wake. “It’s no problem, really, Bara-san. I’ll take care of it, you just get yourself home for a proper rest.”

“No, no, it’s okay,” she rushed, both in speech and in gathering the scattered paper. “You’re the one who should be resting after a mission. Would you like some tea perhaps?”

Tea seemed like a good idea. He nodded, getting a smile in return from Bara as she took the papers with her to the kitchen. He could hear the kettle start to boil a few minutes’ later. She returned with two cups and they started to talk. Hissori soon found himself smiling for real this time as Bara told him stories about embarrassing accidents she’d seen come into the hospital – there seemed to be a lot of kids who liked to super-glue things to their faces. It was the first time in a long time he had really found himself feeling comfortable with someone’s company. Not since Minami, actually.

But even as he talked to Bara, he could only keep seeing his wife’s face flashing before him. Minami’s features overlapped with the other woman before him. They both gave a laugh, their eyes sparkling with amusement.

He’d left the picture Kita drew of the graves on the table. The flat imitation of death’s memory sat upon the living room table, staring up at the light, with the scribbled bouquet of flowers he had placed there to show his enduring sense of loss. Maybe even guilt. He was sure in another one of those pictures Bara had bundled up was a zoomed-out view of the entire graveyard. With he and his daughter journeying towards their own little section, flowers in one hand, holding each other’s hand in another.

Him leading his daughter to the graveyard of guilt, where he was also sure she’d drawn their own graves too waiting to be filled.

Bara/Minami took a sip of tea. Minami’s eyes stayed on him whilst Bara stared at her drink.

---

A/N: Any feedback would be much appreciated, thank you. And hope you enjoyed the chapter!